My First Love

My first love was soccer. Sorry to bore it up, but I JOINED AN OUTDOOR TEAM. 

I might even start this Thursday. I AM BEYOND PSYCHED. 

Texas Cutting Funds From Planned Parenthood

I had heard about this issue in my Texas government class, but now it's actually happening. http://www.wfaa.com/news/local/175871241.html
"State lawmakers cut off funding for Planned Parenthood, the largest health care provider in the Texas Women's Health Program."
WHAT THE HECK TEXAS? You know what the worst part is? SO MANY PEOPLE ARE SUPPORTING THIS. 

One of many. Might I point out a WOMAN posted this.

Let me clarify something. Less than 5% of Planned Parenthood's funds go toward abortions and the state itself is not allowed to fund it. So guess what, the cuts aren't going towards abortions ding-dong. It's going towards important things like contraception. I don't know about you, but stating contraceptives have nothing to do with healthcare is probably the STUPIDEST thing I have heard. Because having children has nothing to do with your health. No of course not. It has nothing to do with anatomy, physiology, and pediatrics. 

I think women should have the choice on whether they want to have children or not. The woman should have control over her own body, and they can make whatever decisions they want based on their beliefs. No one else should be able to make that decision for them. This is an extreme, but I think if she understood the concept of rape, she might think differently.
Also, she must not have a clue what Planned Parenthood does.
" Planned Parenthood affiliate health centers provide health care including routine gynecological exams, breast and cervical cancer screenings, contraceptive services, abortion care, sexually transmitted infection testing and treatment, and HIV testing and education to nearly three million women, men, and adolescents."

On the topic of STD's, Texas is number one in gonorrhea. This year an average of 600 cases a week are being reported. Key words being reported, because so many go unreported. Also, 50% of women don't show symptoms. Awesome right?! Not that it matters anyway, considering gonorrhea is slowly but surely going to become untreatable due to the high resistance of drugs. Let's not help these people while we can according to this woman. I just want to throw books at these people until they pick one up and read it. Make the ignorance stop! Please. It's killing me slowly and painfully.

Texas, you're an awesome place to live. It's warm for the most part and people are friendly. But goodness, these people need to become educated. So many people here give religion a bad reputation, and they don't even question their morals or thought processes. 

I just...I can't. Like I don't understand why this bothers me so much. It's not directly affecting me, but all of those people depend on it. That poor teenage girl who can't talk to her uber conservative, religious parents will no longer have anywhere to turn. That woman in poverty who already has three kids might have to worry about another mouth to feed. Go ahead and talk about abstinence all day long. The reality is that it's an unrealistic goal to set for society. Not everyone is going to do it, just like not everyone is going to make all A's in school. I get sarcastic about it when I'm angry, but honestly, I'm deeply disturbed by the decision made. 

A Good Day

I post complaints and rants a bit, but my day today was fantastic. So it deserves a post.
I was studying on the train when a guy sitting in the seat adjacent to mine started up a conversation, and at first I was like, "Why is he talking to me?" I ended up actually really enjoying the conversation and it gave my day a pleasant start. Then my first class, Women's Studies, was only 20 minutes long. Heck yes. I decided to take that time to schedule an appointment with my adviser and I'm glad I did because I got an appointment before registration starts. That got me thinking about my schedule for next semester and I discovered I might have to take an extra class to consider myself a full time student (I took four classes during the summer and all the nursing courses are offered at a different campus). The classes I'm considering taking at the same time for fun to qualify myself for my current scholarship are kickboxing and scuba diving. UM AWESOME. I've been searching for a fighting style to learn for a little bit, and I've wanted to become scuba certified since I was 16 when my mom did it. Can you say best semester ever? And last but not least, Ryan was having a bad day, and after talking with him for awhile, he's doing so much better. Seeing him happy just..I can't explain what it does. He's a fantastic person.

Nowadays, Unless It's My Brother..

This is me 

Stupid Things the Girl in Texas Government Says

So there's this girl in my Texas government class that is crazy annoying. Everyone has encountered one of these people during their academic career and I've discovered for some reason the college classes are worse when the number of students is around 140. It like increases the likelihood you'll have a loud retard in your class. These kind of people have an opinion about EVERYTHING. Even when they don't understand the topic. No, wait, ESPECIALLY when they don't understand the topic. They feel the need to comment on everything said. Even if it's not a discussion, they speak up. "There's no such thing as a stupid question." I beg to differ. Oh and  this girl smiles every time she interrupts the already slow progression of the class so I've taken the time to write down the stupid crap she says along with my notes. Onto quotes she has specifically said..

Now I first noticed how priceless some of these moments were after one day of talking about the controversial topic of abortion. Our teacher is off topic 50% of the time, but this time he was actually relating it to the Texas legislature cutting Planned Parenthood funds. Everyone but this girl agreed that it was a bad idea. In case you don't know, Texas is ranked number 3 in the nation for teen pregnancies. The reason why? The legislature has the same mentality this girl has. And I quote, "Well the simple solution is abstinence. Abstinence works. It works for me." And as she saying this, she turns in her seat to the whole class as if her morals are superior and we should follow her example. Now I don't think abstinence is a bad thing, I actually think it's awesome if you have that level self control, but who does this girl think she is? The way she said it just...the class erupted with noise and counterarguments immediately. It made me laugh.

Some of her other notable quotes:
"What if the candidate punches a baby?" Remember that thing about stupid questions? Well here's an example.

"Then I'm just stupid." Admitting it and then continuing to talk...sigh

The teacher asked the class what a tort was. Her response (of course she's the first to have an answer) "A short way to say tortoise?" HA. You are SO funny. Please quit college and become a comedian. Seriously. Please quit the class.

Talking about people who are trained in some form of fighting (once again not related to Texas gov) "You have to register your body as a deadly weapon."

And then today in class..."I don't have much of an opinion about it but.." and she continued to talk about her opinion that wasn't even present. Like she said after that she didn't really understand, but decided to tell everyone about her opinion on it anyway. She also includes personal stories and you know we all care so much. That's why we paid to take this class. To learn about her life.

Our class photo while she speaks. That's me in the center.

Taylor Swift? No thank you.

I never understood why all the girls seemed to love Taylor Swift in high school. There was always something about her I didn't really like. I've seen on the internet I'm not alone. 

Reasons why I don't like Taylor Swift (not that it matters. she still makes a crap ton of money.):

• "Swift employs slut-shaming in a great deal of her songs. "
• "she embodies the virginal best friend who suddenly takes off her glasses and attracts the love of her male best friend who finds it acceptable to just dump his current girlfriend in the middle of prom. "
• "She cannot sing live."
• " Everything is about princesses and crying in the rain and boys"

Seriously, these things are not good for adult relationships. Let's not challenge the stereotypes at all. In fact, let's reinforce them and then present all of this to children because it's "innocent."

Gag. 

"Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that?" Um whatever the hell he wants because he gets to decide who he dates and you have no right to judge his choices solely because it conflicts with your personal desires. That's plain ol' selfish. The other girl's feelings aren't even considered. She's practically dehumanized by Swift because she wears short skirts (Probably because she's cheer captain. Have you see those uniforms?) and high heels. 

Yes. It's just a song. Little girls look up to this though. Stealing boyfriends isn't okay. That's awesome that her song has values that our society deems as praiseworthy, but the people that don't fully believe in such shouldn't be victimized. 

Lastly, why does everything have to be about boys. THERE ARE OTHER THINGS IN LIFE WORTHY OF SINGING ABOUT. 

quotes in bullet points from: http://seekingtomorrow.tumblr.com/post/33351818317/taylor-swift-isnt-all-shes-cracked-up-to-be I don't agree with everything in this article.

Soccer Girl Problems: Injuries

So I've been planning on quitting my indoor team for quite some time because well...they suck. I can't play with beginners. It's not a challenge and my teammates don't try. Last week an outdoor team offered me a spot and I was ecstatic. Finally something more competitive right? I check them out tomorrow. Problem is..last night during my second indoor game I was changing directions really quickly and I'm pretty sure I pulled something in my foot. It hurt to walk/run and this morning I can't put weight on it. Like WHY does this have to happen to me now?! I already have ankle problems on my right side. I just...my body..it hates me. I think this might have something to do with changing my style of running shoes. The people at the store recommended it for my foot type and now I'm thinking they had no idea what they were doing. I was really looking forward to a new team and now I can barely walk.

Another Day, Another Test

"We've got to live in the real world. If we don't like the world we're living in, change it. And if we can't change it, we change ourselves. We can do something." -Giovanni

Relating to the title, I actually do have an exam tomorrow. I can't seem to bring myself to study and I'm almost indifferent about that. That's not like me at all. 

Edit: The guilt of doing bad finally hit me. Onto studying and good grades I go.

Opening Up My Eyes

I've been raised in a pretty cynical family and you know sometimes that attitude is needed to take on some aspects of life, but right now, at this time in my life, it hasn't been doing it for me. I've been opening up mind to new ideas and perspectives and I've gotta tell you, the world is a beautiful place. I know people and the system of things aren't always where they should be. But if you just look at individual people without judgment or think for a second that it's not internal traits that make a person "bad," they become a genuinely beautiful person. I see the bad things, but I'm done concentrating and nit-picking at those things. Everyone is just a human going through something and you have no clue what they could be dealing with. Their past may have shaped them a certain way to say the things they do or dress/look how they do, but they're still a person that is capable of change. Looking for those positive qualities or just looking at them as a human with a blank slate for possibilities makes each individual so spectacular. It's such a breath of fresh air to finally see people in a brighter light. It gives me the urge to be kind to others even if they aren't going to be kind back. Just to give them a quick smile or let them know humanity isn't always as cruel and unforgiving as we have shaped it to be. Then maybe they'll be more willing to do the same for someone else which may spread to others.

I used to be really angry at the world and people for being the way they are, but now I just want to help. Even if it's only a little bit.

Leap

Just now after making the decision that I did some time ago, I realized how risky of a choice that was. I'm not a risk taker. I never have been because playing it safe meant staying in my comfort zone. For some reason, with you, I responded back. Whenever I thought of anyone that might be of importance, you came to mind and so I came back to you. I don't like giving out personal details about my life to people, but it came naturally with you. Letting you see my face and hear my voice was jump landmark #2 (1 being the initial response). Growing closer to you and deciding to trust you was completely out of character for me. For some reason, it seemed easy. I don't doubt my decision like I do with other people.

You have had nothing but a positive impact on my life so far, and you live 800 miles away. Whatever trust I've put into you or our relationship has been something so new, fresh, and simple. I have no clue where we are headed and I don't know if everything is going to work out. For the first time in my life, I'm okay with that, and I'm not dying to find out. I know it will be alright no matter what. Most would think what we're doing is just a crazy idea with a lot of empty hope, but it's something more. It's teaching me something no book or religion could ever beat into my head. Faith.

Faith is something I've never understood, and it always driven my brain completely nuts trying to understand it. I only associated faith with religion and tried figuring it out through that route. Considering I've never been too religious, that never worked out. I see now that faith isn't religion bound, and it's not something you can logically (or linearly) figure out. A + B ≠ C.

Variable C is something you know. Variable C is jumping off the edge of the building knowing you'll be unharmed no matter the actual outcome. A lot of humans close their eyes when they jump off something initially. Sometimes not knowing every single step of the way is better. If you look during the fall, you'll over think it, try to control it, and very possibly mess it up.

Now I'm not saying this whole effort is a blind jump. I've felt around the edge's corners to see if they were sturdy, and I've looked down below to thoroughly examine where my descent might lead. Knowing I might not land there is part of the decision making process for the jump. Whatever safety net I can somewhat see may not turn out to be safe or might just be gone by the time I get there. I've weighted these factors and made my decision at some point, though I can't remember the exact moment.

So I'm closing my eyes, and choosing to dive off this edge of comfort. The wind might not pull me in your direction, but wherever I land, it's better than being back on that edge wondering what could have been. Besides, the sensation of free falling happily is quite possibly the best part. There's something strangely comforting about it. I believe the saying is follow your heart, and this one time I'm allowing my brain to say back, "Let's give it a go."

"You're already home where you feel loved." - The Head and the Heart

Best Friends that Don't Last Forever

One of the worst things to go through would have to be losing a best friend. Honestly, it flat out sucks beyond belief. The so called "other friends" don't seem to matter when your best friend starts vanishing from your life. Because when you're upset and you want to talk to someone, who do you want to call? Your best friend. Need to rant about something stupid? Best friend. Want to get the hell out of your house? Best friend's house. Want to be stupid with someone and not worry about having to be judged? Best friend. Share amazing experiences that just wouldn't be the same without that person? Does it shock you the answer is still best friend?

Who do I go to now? There's a reason none of my other friends have filled the role of best friend in my life. They haven't made the cut or they haven't cared to try. A lot of self reflection likes to settle in the boring places now which isn't always enjoyable. It's lonely and I don't really feel like hanging out with anyone other than my best friend. When the day has ended, I want to tell my best friend about it. Now I have the blank wall that is the internet to stare at and talk to. Just like a crazy person. Awesome, right? Well this definitely can't be the most unhealthy way of doing it, but it's not much fun, nor does it fill that gap for intimate human interaction. It sucks.

I'll get over it.

Rant, rant, whine, whine, complain. Oh look at the time, I should really be studying.