Washed Away

So the romance or whatever you want to call it that I thought was blooming between me and a person has been cut short, and not by my decision. This also means the friendship gets smacked around in the process. Oh well. Nice things don't last forever, and sooner is better on this one. I was hoping my trip to the beach would push me forward, but it didn't do exactly what I was thinking. It's weird how high my standards are now as a result of this person. Time to go use my mind as a shovel to dig into things that are bigger than this world. I'm not a risk taker as I've stated before, but I was with that relationship with that person and it turned out pretty awesome in lots of aspects. Maybe I should apply that approach to other areas of my life. Life keeps changing direction on me when I want it to relax a little so I would really like a constant. I can't seem to find that in people or activities so the answer must lie beyond all that. Or so I'm hoping. Man oh man, I was enjoying life and then someone throws a baseball at me while I'm on the soccer field. I trust I'll get wherever I need to be going though. All I can do in these situations is fight back a little, realize that's useless, throw my hands up in the air, and walk away. Call it giving up, but there's no use in forcing things. Too often I try to push for what I want and apparently my wants don't lead anywhere worthwhile (or so I've been conditioned to believe). So screw it. I'll go with the flow. Do what you want. I'll be over here doing my own thing if you need me. I care. I'll try to repress that for sake of my heart, but I'll be over here caring if you need some care. Time will hopefully cure the caring. That sounds terrible actually. Caring is a thousand times better than apathy, even if it means pain. So hopefully time will mean adaption. However that's supposed to happen. It's so hard to see the future unrelated to each storm when the current clouds block your view. I was feeling better before I typed this, so it's time to stop now.