Starving

Wrote this on a napkin:

We all want love
Not that cheesy romantic
Butterflies frantic
Love
No
The kind where I scratch you
You don't have to scratch me
Love
I know it's what I have to give

And you
Say you're not changing
Everyone is changing
But soon
You'll learn change is good
It's growing, it's learning
Adaption, reaction, the world is in action
And once you can't keep up
You'll figure out there's no ground
To catch your fall
Everyone's passing
Nobody's laughing
So

Will you take my hand
Come on, get up and stand
Again
Once I love you
You don't have to love me
But give your love to somebody

Maybe I'm starving for love too
And maybe I'm starving without you
But deep in my heart
Deep in my soul
I have a flame
That will forever glow
Cause I know love
Do you know love?
I can keep giving
It's why I'm still living

Wake up
Take someone's hand
Let them know they can walk again

Galaxy Eyes v2

I didn't want to disturb my family to go outside and do this so I just wrote about it instead. It's not about love in the sense that movies talk about. It's general caring I suppose.

Lightly step
One by one
Over the stones
Through the grass

All in the dark

Cold winds blow

No shoes

On concrete I tiptoe

Lay real still
Lights go out
Feel the world
It's never been so bright

Don't turn on lights
You'll put them out
They don't need help

Quietly look up and breathe
Forget who you are or else you can't see

Through my galaxy eyes
I'll see truth
Through your galaxy eyes

They'll find you
Take it all in and I swear
You can be someone new

Someone was born

Someone has died
Just as we quietly
Lay here

Someone is scared
Someone's alone
Yet I'm still
Here at home

So I'll take your hand in mine
Slowly let our fingers intertwine
I'll be your somebody

Through my galaxy eyes
I'll find my way
Through your galaxy eyes
Your heart will grow
Through galaxy eyes
You'll love you
And through these galaxy eyes
I'll love you too.

I am Not a Cheater

Today was going by wonderfully. I played a baby grand piano, fitness class was easy, I get to play soccer later, a blind girl can play the guitar, some kids waved at the train passing, and pretty much I was loving the fact that I was alive. Recently I apologized to an old ex of mine for abruptly leaving him for another guy. Yeah, not my finest moment, but I have definitely grown up since long ago. The apology was mainly for my own reasons so I could forgive myself. Anyway, we've been exchanging messages to just catch up a little, and he was like "Yeah when you left/cheated on me..." WHOA. Whoa. Nononono. "I forgive you..blah blah." WHAT THE HECK. I did NOT cheat on you. Dumped you on the side of the road for another guy, but NEVER did I cheat. I waited to break up with him after I figured out my feelings for the other guy. Not that I need to explain this to the internet, but geez.

Nothing infuriates me more than being falsely accused. The amount of anger this surges me with is a bit scary.  He will know the truth, and I will be damned if he still thinks that I'm a cheater after this.

Bad Dream Escape

I had this really weird dream last night that ended up switching to being pretty scary to somewhat nice. Anyway, my point of escape in the dream was what I decided to depict. It was quite a vivid dream so I made this.



It took so long, but I feel like getting the image out was well worth it.

A Single Valentine's Day

I was so thrilled to be single for once on Valentine's Day. I thought it would give me time to not worry about myself and just watch everyone else. I saw some really sweet stuff throughout the day. I really think what a silly holiday it is. I think chocolate or flowers are so...so...unoriginal I guess. It's too easy. Honestly, you can show someone you care whenever and I think it's even better when it's unexpected. Now with that said, I wasn't expecting anything, but something came in the mail. It looked like a poem at first, but turns out a video went with it. He wrote me a song...

I melted. Just like ice cream in the summer sun.

It's stuck in my head. Goodness, I am so freaking lucky.
The one Valentine's day I am literally expecting to be like any other day ends up being probably the most memorable one so far. How does that even happen?
I swear it's like he knows my brain. Either that or his hopeless romantic wavelengths are the same frequency as mine. Whatever man. How could I ever take this sort of person for granted? There's no way.

Oh, if anyone is actually reading this, the he would be the "crush" figure in my life.

Gah

He doesn't say I'm hot or anything ridiculous of the sort.

He said I was unbelievably stunning.

I'll just be over here absorbing these feels.
Hurricane Happy is sweeping me away.
I'm such a girl.
Oh well.

WHY DID I NEVER POST ABOUT THIS

SO. I forgot to post this because I had soccer right after the news. About a week ago, Ryan bought his plane tickets to come and visit.

Like holy crap, this is actually happening. I'm beyond excited. He's coming down on my birthday too.
Best. Birthday. Ever.

98 days.

Things My Boss Does

That Annoy Me...

-She doesn't type with correct grammar or punctuation. Most of the time it's text talk, and even in group emails it is. Half of the time, I don't have a flipping clue what her directions are because they don't look like English, and I'm a COLLEGE student. I grew up with that language. I think some of the confusion is because her sentences run together. Christ, her words run together. The capitalization is weird too. She spelled out WEDnesday on an email, and I really hate that she has includes my name at the bottom of the emails now. I would really like to look a little more professional.

-She doesn't seem to understand I'm a student. She asks me what my schedule is all the time. It doesn't change, and if it does, it's for studying. "can u do this?" No..I have class. Duh. And then she goes and changes the schedule without consulting me, and acts all put out when I can't work. Not only am I student, but Fridays I play soccer. She constantly jokes, "When are you going to quit school and be full time?" Ha. Never. EVER. I, also, would not like to be living with my parents when I'm your age. *cough*

-She is mean to the kids. Coaches are supposed to be rough sometimes, but you don't call a child lazy and scream at them. She'll cuss under her breath at games, and talk about some violent things she would like to do to them. IT'S JUST SOCCER. They're freaking 10 years old. She gets mad when can't get the moves down, and then she wonders why they can't do them. I always try to address the mistake, reassure them it's okay, show it to them again, and tell the them they'll do it better next time. She doesn't have the patience for that. She's kinda scary. And when she asks me what she needs to do differently, she wonders why I'm extremely hesitant to answer.

Don't get my wrong. Besides her, my job is great. I have super flexible hours, I'm teaching something I love, and I love the kids. Unfortunately, since she is in charge of it all, there's no way I can continue on for more than a half year. I need to move onto bigger and better things. I would really love some professionalism in my next job. Some people choose to be doctors while others choose to be coaches. How you treat people is going to determine how good of a doctor or coach they see you as though.